Sunday, May 31, 2009

Falling into Fifty

I'm ready to write again. And I miss Falling into Forty. So the obvious solution is this, Falling into Fifty. And since there is no reason to maintain multiple blogs, I will consolidate all the others into this one.

Here we go.

Matthew Montgomery

I saw him in Back Soon. I didn't really enjoy the film, but I did like the actor.

And there's more about him here.

Note to self: No wonder he looked so familiar. I just watched him in Gone, But Not Forgotten.

Friday, May 29, 2009

Dan Payne

I saw him in The Mulligans. Wow. And he has been in several things I should have seen and just missed. Is it fair for one man to be so unbelievably handsome?

Jason Van Eman

I first saw him in Regarding Billy, and I definitely would like to see more.

You can read more about him here.

Paul Preiss

I saw him in Dog Tags, and he was fantastic.

And he has his own website worth checking out.

I like that guy.

Ever watch a movie or a music video, notice an actor or singer, and think, "I like that guy. Who is he?"

Well, I do. All the time. And I'm just the sort of guy to blog about it.


I want Taco Bell. And I want a lot of it. And it is only 8:00am.


Remember. Remember. Remember.

Apparently, the first ten pounds just fall off, and then the real work begins. I've settled in at 208/209 and am not really coming off that, yet. I'm sticking with the hour of cardio a day for the next few weeks, reducing the time on the bike and increasing my time on the treadmill. Then, when I return from the Marine Corps reunion in Cleveland mid-June, I will add weight training.

I just have to keep telling myself that everyday is a step in the right direction. And, I know not to just watch the scale. Before I see any drastic change in numbers, I will already feel stronger, have more energy, and notice that my clothes are fitting better.

I know these things. I do. I just have to keep writing them out to remind myself.

Thursday, May 28, 2009

It's tough.

I'm far enough in to this to be see just how very far I have to go, and my motivation is being tested. I just wanted to turn off the alarm (5am!) and go back to sleep. But I didn't. I got up, dressed, and off to the gym.

I should run more on the treadmill. I should run farther and faster. And I should put more effort into the biking, too. And of course, I should start weight training. I know these things, but I'm not there, yet. And I am not going to spend too much time "should'ing" all over myself.

I am going to the gym every day. I am eating much, much healthier. And I am going to do this. That is where I will put my energy right now.

Wednesday, May 27, 2009

Another day, another visit to the gym.

I tried to run another 5k this morning, but my body was not having it. I managed 1.42 miles in 20 minues, than switched to the bike for another 40 minutes and 15 miles. Not a great morning at the gym, but I was there and got a good hour of cardio.

I'm not giving up, just struggling with a single *ugh* day at the gym. It happens, I know, so I am not going to make a big deal of it. I just have to get right back there tomorrow and get after it again!

Tuesday, May 26, 2009

Two steps forward, one step back.

Got up this morning early, made it to the gym, and spent a solid hour pedaling like crazy on the bike. Then I spent another twenty minutes sweating out the weekend in the dry sauna. Two steps forward.

Then I had Wendy's for lunch with Ric. I had a crispy chicken sandwich with fries. One step back.

Monday, May 25, 2009

And back to it tomorrow...

I had a great first week, but I am also going to be careful not to burn myself out. So I took Sunday and Monday off. And I don't feel guilty at all.

But... tomorrow is a new day, and I am heading back to the gym first thing in the morning.

Saturday, May 23, 2009

One goal down.

It's been nearly three years since I ran a 5k, so that was one of the first things I wanted to get done. And today, I did it. My time was terrible (37:35), but I did it. And from here on out, my time will only get better.

And, not only did I run the 5k, I biked five miles before and five miles after. So congrats to me!

Friday, May 22, 2009

Thoughts on the holiday weekend.

This is Memorial Day weekend, and I'm not sure how it's going to go. I am not going to stress too much about being perfect with my eating and working out, but neither am I going to give in to the "meh, it's the weekend!" excuse. I don't know if I will go to the gym tomorrow or Sunday, but if I don't, I am at least going to get out of the house and spend some time outdoors. Perhaps Ric and I will take a long walk around Balboa Park.

This is a tough time. I have to go slowly enough that I do not burn out, but not so slowly that I don't see results and get frustrated. It's clearly a balancing act, but I have no idea how much is too much in either direction.


I really need to sort out my sleep issues. Right now, I am only sleeping about 4 hours or so before waking up, then I lose another 30-45 minutes tossing and turning. And taking a nap doesn't help, either, since it just makes it harder for me to get to sleep at all.

I'm going to keep doing the right things - working out consistently, eating smaller meals more often through the day, and starting some sort of relaxation/meditation program to help slow down my mind. But if those things don't start working soon, I'm going to be having a little chat with my doctor about Ambien.

I need sleep.

Wednesday, May 20, 2009

I'll sleep tonight.

I was up late last night watching the finale of Dancing With The Stars, and I did not get to sleep until almost midnight. And since I had an appointment at my office this morning at 7am, I didn't think it was realistic to plan for the gym this morning. I thought I would just go after work.

That was until I woke up at 4:38am and could not go back to sleep. I tossed and turned a few minutes, but once my mind starting racing, I had no choice but to get up. And I told myself that getting up and heading to the gym meant I could feel good all day about having worked out, so I went.

Now, though, I am tired. Really, really tired. I am heading home, having a light dinner, then relaxing until I go to bed at 9:00pm. I will definitely get a good night's sleep tonight.

Transition Period.

The transition period is going to be a bit grueling. I am excited about my new goals and my efforts to attain them. And that excitement translates into a desire to start doing everything right and right this minute. But that sort of all-encompassing change is better suited for a fad diet than a long-term plan for fitness.

On the other hand, I have to be careful of finding excuses for myself to not eat right, to not work out, to sleep in and avoid exercise. I can't let "I'll change that later, I am just doing this now" become a habit.

First up? Changing my eating habits. I am cutting out fast food completely, which means I need to spend a bit more time thinking about what I eat. Healthy lunches, more fresh fruit, snack-sized veggies, and lots of little meals (thanks, Michelle!) are on the menu, and breakfast donuts, Doritos, and Taco Bell are off it. Fortunately, Diet Mt. Dew and Diet Coke stay, though I am going to make it a point to drink more water throughout the day at the office.

Next? Getting this ol' body moving. I enjoyed an hour long, 3.5 mile walk yesterday through Balboa Park, but I know that I also need the structured routine of a gym. I started this morning with a 22 mile, one hour ride on the bike. It wasn't so much that I over-did it, but it was enough that I felt like I had accomplished something. And despite wanting to go back after work, I am going to wait until tomorrow. No need to push too fast and end up burning myself out.

I'm feeling good about my decisions. Now to just get through the transition period and develop a plan that I can maintain long-term.

Tuesday, May 19, 2009

I have done this before. I can do it again.

This is not my first attempt at getting myself back in shape. In late 2005, I decided to get myself moving, eat better, and drop some weight. And I did. I dropped down to 183 pounds and was feeling pretty good.

But, life being what it is, my efforts at getting in shape came to an abrupt halt in January 2007 when I contracted pertussis (adult whooping cough). Suddenly, just breathing was difficult enough, and I was on short term disability for two months. It really messed with my health, but worse still, it gave me an excuse to stop trying. So I did.

Rather than spend another moment thinking about the could of, would of, should of, I am going to focus my attention on what I can do now to improve my health. I've dragged around long enough.

To share or not to share?

So, do I keep this to myself or do I share it with my friends? There are pros and cons to either choice. Sharing it with others means opening myself up to criticism. It also means that people will ask me about the things I post here, and it will no longer be a completely safe space to vent and bitch and rant.

But, sharing it with other people also means that my friends will know what I am going through. And knowing my friends, they will offer encouragement and help me stay motivated. They will also make it harder for me to slack off, since they will be looking for updates.

So, to share or not to share? I think I know what that answer is.

Three reasons I need to make changes.

Managing my mood.

Obviously, part of my battle is going to be controlling what I eat. And another part is making myself get to the gym. But the other part is going to be managing my mood. I fluctuate so quickly (and often!) between feeling like I want to do this and deciding to just give it all up and quit. I really wish this part was easier, but wishing isn’t going to get it done.


Not tomorrow. Today.

The goal is simple: lower my body weight from 220 pounds to 160 pounds.

When I went for my annual physical, I weighed in at 220 pounds. I know I have been gaining weight for a while, and the last several months of work and school (and zero exercise) have only made that worse. But knowing I weigh 220 pounds? Damn. That is unbelievable to me.

For me, this has to be my line in the sand. Enough. I can either get myself back on track or give up altogether. And giving up is not my style. So, all that's left for me to do is quit thinking about it and start fixing it.

And my mantra? I'll never again be as overweight as I am at this moment.