Sunday, March 30, 2014

What You Aren't Seeing

One of the best things about having amazing friends is that they share the best quotes and images.

Case in point, from my friend, Nancy:



As I write this, I'm sitting in a beautiful beach resort, counting down the last few hours before I take part in the Lavaman Triathlon Relay. I've been here since Thursday evening, and I've been sharing photos and fun stories with everyone via Facebook. 


That's my Highlight Reel.

The truth? I am having a great time. But there's been more going on that I haven't shared. I won't go into detail, but I'll just say that two different friends were having pretty bad days on Friday. And it was heartbreaking for me to know they were hurting and I was so far away and unable to do anything to help them. (No, I don't think I can make everything right for everyone, but as a friend, I still wanted to be there to comfort them.)

In addition to what was going on with my friends, I had my own issues to deal with. I'm running this triathlon as a relay with two gentlemen that I met through the race organization. I just met one of them at the expo and the other I'll meet this morning. They are both trained and ready for their events, and they will set a high bar for performance. I hadn't even thought about a time goal, but now I know that my one teammate is hoping for a sub three hour finish. If our swimmer hits his 25-minute goal and our bicyclist rides in his 75-minute goal, I will have 85 minutes to run my 10k. Piece of cake, right? Sure, if they hit their marks. But if they don't, they will start chewing into my time, and that 85-minutes can easily drop down to 60 minutes.

And yes, I realize that a team goal depends on everyone doing their part, but the truth is, all eyes are on the last batter in a game, the last play by the quarterback, and the last swimmer on the relay. And now, today, it will come down to me delivering if we are to hit the team goal.

Am I worried? Oh, yes. I know that all I can do is my best, but that doesn't take the pressure off. I am stressed that I will cramp up, that my pace will falter, that the heat and humidity will take a toll, etc. If there's a reason to worry, I've found it.

Anyway, the point here is that if you were judging my life by what I've posted, you'd think my life was perfect. But there is always so much more going on than what is on the surface. When I posted the picture above on Facebook, I received several comments about me being awesome. But in the dark hours of the morning, I didn't feel awesome. I felt a little sick, actually, worried that I might let my team down.

I know. I know. I will do great, we'll do great, and the whole day will soon be a great memory and a reason to celebrate. But I wanted to share the backstory because it matters. If you are comparing yourself to me, or to anyone else, and you feel like your story is falling short, stop. Knock it off. You are comparing your moments of real-life worry and struggle to the best and brightest moments in someone else's life, and what's the point in that?

You're enough. You're more than enough, in fact. You're amazing. And you're awesome. And those moments when you're down and afraid and insecure? The fact that you fight through them and emerge stronger on the other side is just more proof of your own greatness. Don't forget that.

And now, it's time to prep for my run. Lavaman, here I come!