Monday, June 29, 2015

Your Religious Objection Is Not My Legal Problem.

As long as there has been religion, there have been people using it to justify their actions. It's not really a new phenomenon. What is different at this point in history is that we live in a country that values freedom of - and freedom from - religion. We even enshrined that notion into our Constitution. And that means that we are not bound by the doctrines of others. We can enjoy our civil rights even when they conflict with the religious objections of others.

We can drink even though the Baptists don't officially allow it. We can enjoy coffee and tea even though Mormons aren't allowed to drink either. We can have sexual intercourse out of wedlock and we can swear and we can eat meat on Fridays during Lent.

Individually, we are not required to conform to the tenets of someone else's faith. And that's the beauty and glory of America.

Granted, there have been problems along the way. Some people have confused their religion for the law of the land, and others have suffered because of it.

And now, along comes same-sex marriage rights and once again the rules for living in a civil society go by the wayside. Court clerks cite "deeply held religious convictions" to deny issuing marriage licenses to gay couples. Attorneys General and Governors instruct government-sector employees to willfully and purposely refuse to do their taxpayer-funded jobs.

No. That's not how this works.

Imagine that a woman in the US goes to her local DMV to renew her license, but she's told by an employee that "it's a sin for a woman to drive" and therefore he won't allow her to take her written test.

"Sorry," he says, "but you cannot compel me to violate my deeply held religious beliefs." That is exactly what is happening when marriage licenses are denied.

(And no, you cannot cheat the question by saying, "well, someone else at the DMV can help that woman." Because (a) what if all the employees share the same objection and (b) what about smaller offices where there may only be one employee on staff?)

I understand that Americans are allowed to be bigots. But American government institutions are not allowed to discriminate. And public officials who refuse to fulfill the legal requirements of their role may not use religious objections as justifications. They need to resign their position and leave their tax-payer funded public role.

A friend asked me why I think so many people are confused by this distinction, between civil liberties and religious restrictions. It's a good question.

Honestly, I think it comes down to a narcism of beliefs. The people pushing back are so morally sure of their religion, of their values, and of their rules, that they just cannot put themselves into someone else's shoes. Specifically, they can't imagine being denied something themselves because of their "sin."

If a divorced couple was denied a marriage license, or an inter-faith couple was denied a marriage license, or an unwed pregnant woman and her fiancee were denied a marriage license because the county clerk felt they were not spiritually worthy, they would all collectively lose their minds. There would be immediate demands that the "religious nut behind the counter" be fired.

But because the people being denied their lawful rights are homosexual, suddenly "religious liberty" trumps an individual's right to the lawful exercise of a court-ordered right.

That's not how America works, people. Equal means equal.

The other problem is that too many of these same conservatives have zero understanding of the distinction between holy matrimony and legal marriage. They confuse the pageantry of their faith with the lawful requirements of being wed. It isn't the ceremony in the church that makes you spouses in the eyes of the law, it is the signing of the marriage license and its subsequent filing with the county courthouse.

I respect anybody who stands true to their convictions. But there is a consequence. If a public employee is not willing to do the job they are paid to do by all the citizens in their town/county/state, they are free to resign from their employment. They can stand up in their church or mosque or synagogue or homemade shrine and rail against the evils of whatever it is they disapprove of. But they cannot remain in a public role and refuse to perform the duties it requires.

It's simple, really. And the politicians and lawyers and talking heads that say different are playing their supporters for fools. It may be red meat to the gullible and otherwise easily-led, but it isn't a winning strategy in the courts. And they all know it.

America deserves better. America *is* better.

Monday, June 8, 2015

My Thoughts, Their Words

Sometimes, I'll hear a line from a song and it hits me like a punch. They feel so personal, as if they were pulled from my own subconscious. I didn't write these lyrics, but I'm grateful someone did.

I don't know what to want from this world.
I really don't know what to want from this world.
I don't know what it is you want to want from me.
You really have no right to want anything from me at all.

Why don't you take it out on somebody else?
Why don't you bore the shit out of somebody else?
Why don't you tell somebody else that they're selfish,
A weakling, coward, a pathetic fraud?

~ John Grant, lyricist and musical genius

Tuesday, June 2, 2015

How To Handle Modern Situations.

It happens. You're out and about just minding your own business, and suddenly, you are confronted with a completely unexpected and unusual situation. You're shocked. Stunned, even.

What do you do? How do you respond???!!

Relax. We're going to go through a few scenarios and provide some real-world advice on how to handle them.

Scenario One: You are walking down the street and then, without warning, you see a gay couple walking down the street, totally holding hands!

Response: Keep walking. It's not your business and it has nothing to do with you.

Scenario Two: You're sitting at a restaurant, enjoying your lunch, and you notice that the person sitting at the table next to you appears to be a transgender man.

Response: Keep enjoying your lunch. It's not your business and it has nothing to do with you.

Scenario Three: You are still at the restaurant, and you notice the couple at another table are praying before their meal.

Response: Keep eating your dinner. It's not your business and it has nothing to do with you.

Scenario Four: You're strolling through a park, enjoying a beautiful day, and you notice a group of people praying in public!

Response: Keep strolling. It's not your business and it has nothing to do with you.

Scenario Five: You're in line to see a movie when you notice a group of people coming towards you. They are acting like a family but they are obviously different races!

Response: Do nothing. It's not your business and it has nothing to do with you.

And there you have it, folks. Turns out, when dealing with a situation that is unusual for you or perhaps makes you uncomfortable, you don't have to do anything at all. Because it isn't about you. And it isn't your business.

Yes, of course, you CAN do something if you choose to. You can smile at the other person/people. You can say hello. You can treat them like human beings. And you can be a decent person yourself and make every effort to be kind. 

But you can't treat them like an oddity to be discussed in earshot. You can't speculate aloud about "what they really are" or why they are doing whatever it is that you perceive to be unusual. Because doing these things leads the rest of us to believe that you are a terrible human being yourself.

Scottish author and theologian Ian Maclaren once said, “be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle.” And that is especially true for those who must constantly fight their battles under the watchful and critical and public eye. If you can help those people, do so. But at the very least, avoid hurting them.